100 Day Countdown!

Today is an important Day because it Marks 100 days before I get on a plane to the other side of the world. Im really excited but also terrified. I have never been on a plane longer than 5 hours. Just in plane time alone it will be close to 24 hours. Plus I have only been out of the country twice, and I was on mission trips to Mexico. Im not sure if that counts. 
I will be buying my plane ticket on Monday. Please be praying that everything goes smooth and no problems arise. 

Last night I was at the Rocking Worship Roadshow with MercyMe and Jeremy Camp. Jeremy sang my S.A. theme song called "Reckless" and it kinda made my night to hear it live. It reminded me of this God moment I had and I wanted to share.   

Awesome God Moment: I was feeling pretty discouraged on my way home from work a while ago. I was frustrated with my kids at work. I had a headache, the complaining and tattle tailing never seemed to end and my patience was well past thin. So, I got to talking to God in the car. 

God, i am not a super patient person. I am with all kids all day and at the end sometimes I just want to pull my hair out. What will I do in Africa at the end of the day these babies dont go home? I am going to be a primary caregiver to multiple babies. God, what if i get sick of kids? What if I just decide i need a break and dont want to be around kids anymore? I love babies and kids but what if this trip dries me out? 

A lot of fears about my personality and character sweeped in and took over. Am i cut out for this instant "motherhood" or as they call it "Auntiehood"?  (As i am typing this out i realized I am sure these are all the same fears that a parent feels before their baby is born) I was trying to put God in a box and doubt his intension for my life. Maybe i should just stay home. I have only heard my S.A. theme song by Jeremy Camp a couple time on KLove.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ougqs75-r7Y). Right when i had all these thoughts, this song came on the radio. I love how God can get our attention and draw us back to him in so many different ways, including the radio. 

The lyrics are: 

Everytime I try to play it safe
Holding back just a little part of me
I find myself forgetting what
I say that I believe
The promise of Your Word
Is all I need
I'll lay my life down
And give it up
I'll give it up

(Chorus)
I wanna be reckless
Cause You are endless
I wanna be shameless
And shout Your greatness
I will not be afraid
To surrender my way
And follow who You are
I wanna be reckless, reckless

I will lose my life
And just let go
Because I know this world is not my home
With fearless faith
I won't be moved
Unshakeable inside Your truth
You laid Your life down
And gave it up
So I'll give it up

Chorus

I won't waste any more time
My life's Yours it is not mine
Use me Lord no matter what's at stake

This song challenges me in so many ways every time i hear it. This song reminds me to step out in faith and see God provide for me. God called me to give him my life and i want to do that to the best of my ability even if that means giving up finishing school, my job, or my nice comfy house. This song reminds me to trust God with my life, I want him to shape me. 

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25 ESV)

 I believe that Gods shapes us through experiences and disciplines. My hope is that my experiences up to this point have shaped me for this new adventure.  I want to continue to be molded and shaped into a more godly women and also develop characteristics that will help me thrive in the new environment. God has brought to mind my patience. Now I can focus on it,  humble myself, and let God chip at me to improve my patience in ways i never would have thought. So that was my cool God moment. 

I hope you have an amazing week and are able to see evidence of Gods grace, 

Whitney