100 Day Countdown!

Today is an important Day because it Marks 100 days before I get on a plane to the other side of the world. Im really excited but also terrified. I have never been on a plane longer than 5 hours. Just in plane time alone it will be close to 24 hours. Plus I have only been out of the country twice, and I was on mission trips to Mexico. Im not sure if that counts. 
I will be buying my plane ticket on Monday. Please be praying that everything goes smooth and no problems arise. 

Last night I was at the Rocking Worship Roadshow with MercyMe and Jeremy Camp. Jeremy sang my S.A. theme song called "Reckless" and it kinda made my night to hear it live. It reminded me of this God moment I had and I wanted to share.   

Awesome God Moment: I was feeling pretty discouraged on my way home from work a while ago. I was frustrated with my kids at work. I had a headache, the complaining and tattle tailing never seemed to end and my patience was well past thin. So, I got to talking to God in the car. 

God, i am not a super patient person. I am with all kids all day and at the end sometimes I just want to pull my hair out. What will I do in Africa at the end of the day these babies dont go home? I am going to be a primary caregiver to multiple babies. God, what if i get sick of kids? What if I just decide i need a break and dont want to be around kids anymore? I love babies and kids but what if this trip dries me out? 

A lot of fears about my personality and character sweeped in and took over. Am i cut out for this instant "motherhood" or as they call it "Auntiehood"?  (As i am typing this out i realized I am sure these are all the same fears that a parent feels before their baby is born) I was trying to put God in a box and doubt his intension for my life. Maybe i should just stay home. I have only heard my S.A. theme song by Jeremy Camp a couple time on KLove.  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ougqs75-r7Y). Right when i had all these thoughts, this song came on the radio. I love how God can get our attention and draw us back to him in so many different ways, including the radio. 

The lyrics are: 

Everytime I try to play it safe
Holding back just a little part of me
I find myself forgetting what
I say that I believe
The promise of Your Word
Is all I need
I'll lay my life down
And give it up
I'll give it up

(Chorus)
I wanna be reckless
Cause You are endless
I wanna be shameless
And shout Your greatness
I will not be afraid
To surrender my way
And follow who You are
I wanna be reckless, reckless

I will lose my life
And just let go
Because I know this world is not my home
With fearless faith
I won't be moved
Unshakeable inside Your truth
You laid Your life down
And gave it up
So I'll give it up

Chorus

I won't waste any more time
My life's Yours it is not mine
Use me Lord no matter what's at stake

This song challenges me in so many ways every time i hear it. This song reminds me to step out in faith and see God provide for me. God called me to give him my life and i want to do that to the best of my ability even if that means giving up finishing school, my job, or my nice comfy house. This song reminds me to trust God with my life, I want him to shape me. 

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. (Matthew 16:24-25 ESV)

 I believe that Gods shapes us through experiences and disciplines. My hope is that my experiences up to this point have shaped me for this new adventure.  I want to continue to be molded and shaped into a more godly women and also develop characteristics that will help me thrive in the new environment. God has brought to mind my patience. Now I can focus on it,  humble myself, and let God chip at me to improve my patience in ways i never would have thought. So that was my cool God moment. 

I hope you have an amazing week and are able to see evidence of Gods grace, 

Whitney 

I have exciting news!!!!! I got my Visa approved!!!! This is the last piece of the puzzle for me, and now I can officially buy my plane ticket! It is a big relief to have my Visa because without it I can’t get into S.A. The process was quite a learning experience. 

Visa Packet getting ready to be sent out

I was feeling pretty discouraged earlier in the month. It has taken me weeks to get all the requirements for my visa completed. I am getting a Missionary/Volunteer Visa and South Africa wants everything and anything you can give them, it was very time consuming and somewhat stressful. So one Friday I finally get it all together and I am so excited to get it in the mail; however as I am driving to work I realized I forgot my Visa. I thought, I guess ill just do it Saturday. Well I ended up in the ER that night, so Saturday was out of the question. Sunday no mail, Monday holiday, so now Tuesday. Funny story about Tuesday. On my bathroom mirror I have a quote my Louie Giglio “God's plans for your life far exceed the circumstances of your day.” I don't read it everyday and I probably don't read it to myself most days, but this one morning I stopped and I read it. Later as the women is ringing up my shipment for my Visa I realized that I had forgotten my wallet at home in my backpack. So not only was I not able to send my visa but I didn't have a lunch that day. Out of frustration I just sat in my car and cried about whether I was even supposed to go to Africa. And sure enough God brought to mind the quote I read that morning. Despite my rough day, God’s plans for my life far exceeded me forgetting my wallet, having no lunch, and everything else that went wrong that day and the next day too. Once I was able to pull myself together, I did find $3.00 and some change to buy some sort of lunch and I remembered after months and months of buying Jamba Juices with my gift cards, I finally had my 8th free one. Good is Good : ]  oh I did get my Visa in on Wednesday with no problems and it even came back early!   

Its official! Isn't it pretty?! 

Craziness is all around me it feels like. Between work, school, preparing for S. A.  and then everyday life of investing in people, spending time with family and just having time to relax has been bananas! Then to add another thing on my plate is my health hasn’t been the best. I have been pretty ill for about 3 weeks, then on the 15th I ended up in the ER with gallstones. Oh boy!  My mom drove out from Aptos to be with me. It was pretty strange to be in the opposite role. Normally I am sitting with my mom as she's sick, it was weird to be the patient this go around. It has actually been a blessing in disguise. I got to hang out with my mom which was nice. I am also very thankful to God for allowing it to take place here and now than in Africa. Wouldn’t that be complicated. So sometime at the end of March ill have my gallbladder out. 

 I have learned so much in the last year. That' s kinda the point as we grow in Christ right? That we are not the same people we were a 5 years ago, one year, or even one month ago. I have had so many reminders lately how much I still have to go before I could ever become the person I hope to be. I wish I had more faith, I wish I understood the gospel on such a level that everyday my desire would be to share Jesus with everyone I encounter; and I wish I could give out the amount of grace that Christ has given me.  I am still plagued with fear, doubt and pride. Sometimes I just would rather walk away than invest in people. And I hold grudges and sit in anger rather than to hand out Grace and forgiveness. With that, I thank God for Grace because even when I am not able to hand it out to others Christ extends it to me as I grow in wanting to be a godly women. Someone recently asked me, why make this great sacrifice to go to South Africa? I was interrupted before I could answer, so here's my answer. I have never really thought about this journey as a sacrifice. I feel like it is almost a huge honor... Out of the whole body of Christ there are only so many called to other countries to serve. As I talked about before, as a Christian, I am continually growing and learning. Its cool to think about how God, for the past 9 years has been shaping me for this trip and I’m finally ready learn whatever God has for me. I wasn’t ready 3 years ago, or even a year ago, but I’m ready now. I am very honored, and I feel blessed that I get to be a servant in Lanseria, S.A.  

Ways to be specifically praying for me: 

-That I can focus in school. I’ve been slacking a bit. 

-I will be able to carve more time out of my weeks to Mentally and   Spiritually prepare. 

-I will be sharing my testimony and about my trip to Africa with the Middle    School ministry in a couple weeks. I hope i have a good impact. 

-Gods continued provision with my health 

 I hope you are able to see evidence of Gods grace this week, 

 Whitney 

Three and a Half months to Go!!!! 

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matt 28:11